Readings: Eccles. 3:2-6,12-14, Ps. 128:1-5, Colossians 3:12-21, Matthew 2:13-15,19-23
“And he rose and took the child and his mother by night, and departed to Egypt, and remained there until the death of Herod. This was to fulfil what the Lord had spoken by the prophet, ‘Out of Egypt have I called my son.’” (Matthew 2:14-15).
Today, we observe the Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Today, we celebrate that God took flesh and dwelt among us, thereby sanctifying it as the ideal place for human growth and development. In today’s Gospel passage, Joseph, acting on information received in a dream, woke Mary at night and, in obedience, she gathered the baby and a few of their belongings, and they fled to Egypt. This demonstrates that there is no such thing as a perfect family; no family is without its own challenges and difficulties. How do we make our families like that of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, regardless of our challenges? In other words, what are the secrets of the Holy Family?
1. Respect for Parents
Once children lose respect for their parents and stop obeying them, those children attract curses upon themselves. “Whoever forsakes his father is like a blasphemer, and whoever angers his mother is cursed by the Lord.” (Sirach 3:16. Also, read Proverbs 30:17). Indeed, if we are cursed, our families can never be holy. On the other hand, when we honour (respect and obey) our parents and make them happy, we receive several benefits.
a. Forgiveness of Sins: “Whoever honours his father atones for sins.” (Sirach 3:3) “For kindness to a father will not be forgotten, and against your sins, it will be credited to you… as frost in fair weather, your sins will melt away.” (Sirach 3:14-15)
b. Riches and Prosperity in Life: “Whoever glorifies his mother is like one who lays up treasure. (Sirach 3:4)
c. Fruit of the Womb: “Whoever honours his father will be gladdened by his own children. (Sirach 3:5)
d. Answers to Prayers: “When he prays, he will be heard. (Sirach 3:5)
e. Long Life: “Whoever glorifies his father will have long life.” (Sirach 3:6)
I wonder how on earth some children could turn against their own parents, how children would keep malice with their parents, how children would afford to even raise their hands on their parents or accuse them of witchcraft like in a viral video I once saw where some children disgraced their own mother in public because their pastor told them she was responsible for all their problems. Those children, by their actions, have attracted curses upon themselves, which the pastor cannot deliver unless they return to their mother and beg for her forgiveness.
2. Cherish your Parents When they are old
This respect and honour for our parents is even more justified when they are elderly. Old age is usually a blessing; we all pray to live long. However, how we enjoy old age depends on our children; if they abandon us, old age becomes a burden because, at that stage, we become dependent on others like infants. Don’t grieve your parents when they are old. Forgive any wrongs they may have committed in the past. As Sirach says: “O son, help your father in his old age, and do not grieve him as long as he lives; even if he is lacking in understanding, show forbearance; in all your strength do not despise him.” (Sirach 3:12-13)
3. Fear of God
Another point to remember to make our families holy is the fear of God. Our responsorial psalm today states: “Blessed are those who fear the Lord and walk in his ways.” When you fear God, this is what will happen in your family: “You shall eat the fruit of the labour of your hands; you shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.” (Psalm 128:2-3). Don’t be misled by men of God who tell you your family is cursed by your village ancestors and all those humorous stories. Ask yourself: “Do I fear God?” Could this be the reason my family is not thriving?
4. Forgive One Another
Without forgiveness, there cannot be a holy family. Recall how Jesus stayed behind in the temple at age twelve, causing Mary and Joseph so much grief and extra stress during their two-day journey to find him? The Bible indeed says, “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.” (Proverbs 23:13) It is also true that sometimes forgiveness works more magic than the rod.
When you apply the rod consistently, the child develops a hardened heart; they think you hate them and begin to seek love outside the home. You become an enemy. This is the point St. Paul makes when he concludes our second reading by saying: “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” (Colossians 3:21).
Some children have low self-esteem problems because of the constant barrage of insults they receive from their parents; they have stopped believing in themselves and feel they cannot amount to anything good. Some children find it difficult to confide in their parents or confess their sins to them, only to receive advice from inappropriate sources.
Forgiveness also extends to husbands and wives. A husband and wife may offend each other. The love that ignites marital vows is different from the love that sustains marriage. If your love is to last, you must forgive one another repeatedly; seventy-seven times seven times. You must let go of the past every minute and continue to trust your partner even if you have no reason to. Let Jesus be your role model of forgiveness, as St. Paul says: “Forbearing one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you.” (Colossians 3:13)
5. Prayer and Responsibility
Between Joseph and Mary, who was the prayer warrior? I’ll let you debate that. If you say Mary was the prayer warrior, I wonder why the angel appeared to Joseph rather than Mary, warning him about the child’s safety. Men who neglect prayer in the name of it being a woman’s duty are terrible fathers. As a man, you should be the one seeing visions and dreaming big for your family. Every man is the Joseph of the house. You lead, you provide, and you protect; to do this, you must be deeply connected to God. Twice Joseph dreamt and received vital instructions. If he weren’t prayerful, he would have failed in his responsibilities.
It is one thing for wives to be subject to their husbands, but subjection without responsibility is slavery. “Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church, by sacrificing himself for the church.” (Ephesians 5:25) A man who does not love his wife (who is not responsible) does not deserve her submissiveness. Note that within the same paragraph that St. Paul said wives must be subject, he also said husbands must love their wives and not be harsh with them. (Colossians 3:19). Husbands, do not use foul language on your wives, and wives, please respect your husbands; even if you want to correct them, do so with respect.
Conclusion
Achieving a Holy Family is not a matter of luck; it requires hard work. Everyone has a role to play. A family that prays together stays together. Pray as if everything depends on God, but work as if everything depends on you. Being an unfaithful spouse is not enjoyable; it is a curse. You will never find happiness. No one is beyond the reach of love’s redemption. Is your spouse your headache? Start loving them as Christ loved us, and you will be amazed at the transformation you will witness.
Let us pray: O God, who was pleased to give us the shining example of the Holy Family, graciously grant that we may imitate them in practising the virtues of family life and in the bonds of charity, and so, in the joy of your house, delight one day in eternal rewards. Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, forever and ever. Amen.
Be Happy. Live Positive. Have Faith. It is well with you. May God’s abundant blessings be upon us all. (The Holy Family – Feast. Liturgical Colour: White. Bible Study: Eccles. 3:2-6,12-14, Ps. 128:1-5, Colossians 3:12-21, Matthew 2:13-15,19-23)
@Rev. Fr. Evaristus E. Abu